I'm next!

As i was told over and over again at Lisa's wedding last night, i'm the next one getting married. Our wedding is in 19 days, not that i'm counting or anything. I've been busy with the start of school and trying to get over the cold i got from my students so i haven't had much time to focus on how close i am to getting married, other than how much i have left to get done, which is not much. The list that has been seemingly endless since the time we started wedding planning has dwindled to an actually achievable amount.

The only thing i'm worried about now is getting over my cold since it seems to keep coming back. I think i've gotten

over it and then it comes back again in a new and exciting way. I also want to make sure that i am actually in the moment when we get to the week and day of the wedding. I've spent so much time planning for this day that's coming that i want to make sure that i realize that it's actually here when it is.

Andrew and i were apart this weekend because we had two weddings to attend, neither of which we could miss. So i stayed here and he went to Michigan. It's been a long time since we've spent more than a day apart, so of course i missed him, but i was surprised how much i missed him. That alone tells me that i'm ready to marry him. I am so completely comfortable with him. I can tell him anything. I can do anything with him. It's better than i could have imagined a relationship being.

On a completely different note, i've been listening to the book Angry Conversations With God all weekend. It is fabulous. Seriously, it's the best book on religion i've read ( i know i'm listening to it, but it's still the whole book so it totally counts) since reading Donald Miller and Rob Bell. It's approachable and sarcastic and true. Here's the basic idea of the book:

Angry Conversations With God began when Susan hit hit forty and found herself loveless, jobless, and living over a garage. When a churchy friend told Susan that she needed to look at her relationship with God was it like a marriage, Susan decided to take God to marriage counseling.

Angry Conversations chronicles Susan's spiritual history, from childhood faith to a midlife crisis, and all the bizarre church experiences in between.

I was raised Lutheran: Bible-believing, Jesus-loving Lutheran. But as an adult I tried everything: Pentecostals, Presbyterians, Episcopalians, Rock ’n’ Roll Slackers 4 Jesus, Actors for Yahweh. Then I said, “Screw it,” and became a drunk and a slut. Well, a Lutheran slut—I only slept with two guys. Then I got sober and into AA, where I could pick whatever God I wanted. But I didn't pick God; God picked me. I've known him as long as I could remember. I’ve been washed in the blood, slain in the Spirit; I walked through the Bible, I’ve been baptized twice; I’ve done outward cleansing and inner healing. I even went through a therapy program for ex-gays, and I was never gay. Through it all, even if pastors hurt me or friends let me down or entire denominations went Shiite on my ass, I still believed God was good. Until that moment in Central Park...

Taking God to counseling, Susan quickly casts herself as the neglected wife and God as the jerky spouse who has no interest in changing. Susan readily skewers American Churchianity and the weird ideas put forth by her crazy in-laws. But before long, Susan must face the fact that the god in her head is not the real one; the real God won't be manipulated, demonized or controlled; and he loves his wacko family regardless, just like he loves her. Is she willing to love God, regardless of what she can get out of him? For better or worse? Not so much.

Angry Conversations is funny, vulnerable, and even at its most scandalous, a refreshing affirmation of faith.